A Journ For DevJourn

My English 17 Speech:


Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen!

I stumbled upon something that made me happy recently. It was as if the thing I saw never existed for quite sometime now for being forgotten and neglected in a shelf. The dust motes were thick and looked sad with age as I blew them to go away and see the clear ‘picture’. My heart jumped and my emotions took a detour. What started was a happy feeling turned into utter sadness as I recall the day of how the photograph was taken. It was as if someone turned the music on in my ears as the sound of that day emerged back into life followed by the familiar scent of the sand and sea then the it’s warm feeling when you touch them, the heat that made my eyes squint through the rest of the experience and especially, the feeling of the moment. I sighed with sheer desperation on a thought, ‘What if’.

What if I could go back to that moment? What if thing were the same as they used to be? What if things never had to change? …

A moment that was filled of ‘what ifs’ ate my time when I suddenly realized that sometimes, to be THAT happy in a picture is better left that way than to reminisce past hurts and wrong decisions. My, how a photograph can make or break your day. A single shot can capture a brief moment of emotion that was either real or fake. A photograph can stir feelings and bring back thoughts that have been forgotten or neglected to take notice of. Sometimes, it can also make us ask why this certain snap came back and we come to a conclusion that it did for a reason. Maybe the picture was meant to come back to make us realize about things that we have forgotten. To remind us of who we were or we are. To make us know how much we moved on and matured as a person. About knowing how much time can be so important and realize why some people consider it golden. Maybe to make us smile when were so busy to even do so.

Recapturing those faces in that picture seems hard and almost impossible. No wait, not impossible, just difficult. But isn’t that really the point of pictures? To capture the moment in a rectangular box and sealing its identity? Some of you might agree or disagree but that is the essence I think. There are those people who come into our lives who bring joy or sadness regardless of them staying there temporarily or forever. What’s important is the lessons we learned from them and the times we shared with them, of course, captured in a lens with sometimes crappy lighting.

Now grab a camera, smile and strike a pose my friends.

Synthesis Paper(To be passed tommorow!)

My FFP synthesis paper:

I.

I haven’t heard of FFP during the first semester actually. I just knew that the following semester I would be needing a white book with a flame print on it. I really didn’t care about the subject so much even though I was already attending the classes. To tell you the truth, I thought that FFP would be the simplest subject in my load but as it turns out, it proved to be quite stressful. Not bad stressful but good stressful, okay, maybe sometimes bad stressful. I learned a lot of values from this subject especially about myself and God. I’m sure that my journey in this subject is one to be remembered… forever.

II.

The first module seems to be more focused on the academic side so I learned various things about my life as a student. Competitiveness, leadership, cooperation, punctuality, responsibility, diligence, consideration and more especially about those two famous words an Atenean would know, Cura Personalis, which means caring for the other person. Truth of the matter is, I could care less about other people until came across those sacred words. Well, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t care for others entirely but I consider their feelings and the situation.The module also taught me about handling stress which was very helpful because I get stressed all time not just on school work but also with my personal life. Most importantly, the value of leadership. I was chosen as the leader of my group but sometimes I can’t help to neglect my responsibilities due to laziness but I overcome my tired state and perform the best that I could.

III.

The most significant learning in Module 2 would be the very inspiring man that goes by the name of John Foppe, a man disabled since birth but despite the lack of arms lived a very happy life share with a loving, caring and supporting family and understanding and true friends who according to Mr. Foppe “not laugh at him, laugh with him”. After the film showing of this unsung hero of the lost souls I began reflecting on things that I neglected and disregarded nor care as a human being with complete physical parts and through that self realization I came to a conclusion that I have not maximized my stay on Earth doing silly things and not doing things that make me happy like Mr. Foppe. I also realized that I took my physical completeness for granted. It made me think of rerouting my life to a good direction, one that makes me happy, fulfilled and contented, though it’s hard to be contented.

IV.

There’re so much “Ignatian” in the following modules that you can already start a guessing game on how many times it appeared! I’m just kidding. On the remaining modules, both talk about different things that all lead in one direction, point, meaning and that is being a good person for God. Don’t they? Shouldn’t we? What’s important is the humility in us, the Cura Personalis, the change we want to see, all the Ignatian values and spirituality that we should apply in us not just for us but for other people which is the main point anyway, caring for others. Then again, there’s leadership and the importance of participation and obedience. Last but not the least, Magis. I know, this word is overly popular. Magis here, Magis there, Magis everywhere. But that’s what it’s for, to do our best in any given task or challenge.

V.

It saddens me to write the conclusion of this synthesis paper because as I was typing part IV, everything about FFP came back, the class discussions, activities, my classmates, my formator and waking up early in the morning. I can’t believe that I made it and now that I’m getting used to it, it had to end. Yet we all have to move on and continue the lessons that this subject has taught us. Although Ma’am Reine forbids us to use this line but… therefore I conclude, my FFP experience will never end just because the subject has, it will continue till I live my life in a true Atenean fashion with Ignatian values. God bless!

Love(?) Rant

As the semester is slowly coming to a close I become more and more impatient of making a connection with someone. I don't really want to call it CRUSH because in some way I'm making a big deal out of it when the fact of the matter is that I'm not. Okay, you're gonna say that I am making a big deal about it by blogging about it but another fact is that I'm bored and that I'm really desperate. I don't know. It's just that March is here and the PERSON is already graduating anfd there's no more time. I would never make moves of some sort because in some weird way I'm happy being with myself and being left alone sometimes. Damn it. Gosh! So desperate. God, please help.

Joulo's Body

For my entire life I have always been literally a stick. I kept complaining of course. There wasn't a day that I didn't and not one of those days have I ever liked my body. I admit that being thin can sometimes be easy because I could fit in small spaces or I stand out but it's really hard. You know, like when there are games and your group mates don't trust you 'coz they assume my energy will be used up for a couple of minutes. I have not been teased to losing my confidence about my size and shape but sometimes there is that somebody who might taunt me.

For years I have planned on gaining weight that led me to bingeing and taking supplements but alas, none of those worked until my cousin who's as thin as I am went to the gym with his hottie girlfriend for three months and stopped. Like an unexpected happy ending, he ballooned and that turned on the green light for me: I am going to the gym! The question really was when because I didn't have the time and the confidence to tell my parents about it.

I admit that I am a conceited person but I am not a liar. There have been a lot of instances when people would compliment me about my face then complain about my figure. Damn. It didn't really hurt me but it was still better if I was complimented without a disclaimer.

Finally, I urged my Mom to enroll me to a gym and I opened up about my weight. Being the penny pincher that my mom is, she told me to eat up but I was quick to defend my physical state and then she finally surrendered and took me to a gym.

When we were inside the gym I was kind of embarrased because the trainor had a good body. He told me that I was a healthy boy and that I was just thin which I absolutely agree with. In a way, I was inspired by the images in my mind when I looked in the mirror. This was it. I was finally doing it. Now na!

First day didn't turn quite what I expected it to be because after the treadmill my trainor asked if I had breakfast and I said in a nervous tone "No." I know! That was so stupid! I'm so stupid! How could I not have taken breakfast when I was going to the gym and use up energy? Ugh! I felt really embarassed as the whole gym including the members chorused that I should've eaten breakfast! My mom butted in the picture too! Great-o!

I went back the day after with breakfast in my tummy ready to be burned and did the usual warm-ups and lifts and whateva! I felt good. Really good. In fact, even though I just started I already feel confident and hot! Okay, not true about the latter but I do feel healthy and energized!

I hope that my time in the gym would be a wonderful experience and that I do gain weight. Here's to hoping!

"TSADA"

I really feel sad because someone is going away and I'm never going to see that person for a long time. Maybe. It's just that, what if I never joined? What if I never made an immediate decision? What if I considered my absences to a particular subject? What if that person never thought up to make IT? What if that person was sleeping instead of typing on the computer so early in the morning? What if I never CARED?

So many what if's. So many questions. So little time. Time is an enemy. March 27 is fast approaching. It's now or never. I choose never. It's silly and stupid. It's so childish. Ugh! Why? Why can't I get over it? Why am I always cheerful whenever... Why do I always shun... Why do I think about it and then later refuse to acknowledge it?

I'm tired of this secret roller coaster. I'm done frontin'. I have to forget and move on. Damn! I feel like bursting out!