Recently, I had this classmate who annoys me to death because that CM(classmate) ignores me and treats me like I'm a person who spat on his shoe on the street whenever I talk to that CM. I couldn't help but whine about that CM to my other CMs.
I told my CM that I know for a fact that I'm not a likeable person and thats fine with me because it always has been that way and I'm used to it when my CM said that I was right: Nobody likes me. I was not entirely shocked about that comment(or fact) but I was a liitle hurt and I couldn't help but ask who they were. My CM didn't really want to mention who but I insisted so my CM told me: Eveyone!
Shocker! In a way, I wasn't surprised because in a way I know it was partly my fault. Everyone says that I'm snobby and don't really look friendly and I don't change that about me. I don't know, in some weird way I kind of like it that I'm like that even though I know in my heart that I should smile a little bit and be approachable.
I was mad of the people who didn't like me even though I'm responsible for not being liked in the first place. How could they not? I'm funny, witty and uhmm... I forgot what people say about me. The point is, even though I'm not really the friendliest face in the campus it's not like I'm not trying or anything.
Anyway, remember the CM I was talking about in the first paragraph? Well, that CM and I, with other CMs, had lunch together and surprisingly, with my best efforts, my CM actually talked to me like a real person. Though I wasn't counting on it in any way.
Later that day we were going somewhere to return a thing and that CM who ignored me went with me and other CMs. After returning what I borrowed I ws yapping away in the jeepney about something and I overshared to my CMs that I remembered what my other CM from highschool told me: I overshare too much and that I'm really open.
I realized that I have done the oversharing thing again which I promised my self not to do anymore a few years ago. Damn! It's so hard to change yourself isn't it? Now, I'm fearing that my CMs might share the information I stupidly let out of my mouth to other people. What I said wasn't really a big deal but it was personal, sort of. Is it possible to make my mouth shut for just once?
My CMs and I aren't really that close much but I think I trust them. Here we go again. That's my problem, I trust people too much too easily even though I hardly know them. I think its a good thing but sometimes it leaves me in a bad position. Should I completely change some things about myself for my own sake? Or am I just doing these stuff for approval or acceptance? I don't know the answer to these questions which make it even harder for me to figure it out. The worst thing is that nobody is helping me about it. Everytime I share a problem or personal stuff nobody seems to care. Not even my 'close' friends.
I let it out on my blog sometimes because if I don't I might explode and the world may end. Corny, I know.
I'd love some comments. Please.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Carried Away
Last year, the buzz surrounding Sex and the City The Movie was making me curious big time. Everyone was talking about it and the hype made me restless to watch it as well. I haven't really watched Sex and the City but I heard of it from one time. When the DVD was released, I rushed to the store and bought one for myself.
The movie was really girly and pro-feminine and all that and I wondered why I watched this movie. A guy watching SATC is rather odd but I loved the fashion and the setting. The story, I didn't really get it so much till I analyzed hard. I mean, four women in New York talking about men and stuff was a new change and interest for me. Wow! The world is so big after all! I didn't expect that sex was such a normal topic to these women when in the Philippines, talking about it is kind of like a taboo or something.
It became one of my favorite movies. It was smart and intellectual and fabulous. And I love Carrie Bradshaw! She's a writer in New York which is what I have always wanted to become. I want to write articles for newspapers and magazines and have a beautiful life and all that and plenty of money! And live in New York!
Fast forward to July of 2009...
I didn't really want to watch SATC the series as it was too girly and all but I was just really curious so I bought the first three seasons. I can't say that I'm hooked because the story really isn't my thing but I liked it. I'm obsessed with Carrie's working status. Imagine writing a column and that's just that! You party all night and get to do the job you love most!
It's a little tiring to watch these women talk about sex and boys though, but you learn a lot from a womans perspective or from the show itself. It's also fun to watch what they wear and how they pull it off. Not that I intend on wearing their wardrobe or anything! Plus, the New York scene is to die for! I've always wanted to go there ever since.
Carrie is also always typing in her laptop which is what we have in common. She loves to write and so do I! The difference is that she has something to write about and I do not! I mean, I aways have to think about what to write everytime I open my Blogger account!
The truth is I'm not really a good writer, I barely use difficult words and I sound like a dumb blonde(according to my estranged sister). I just want to make people laugh and relate to me. So?
Like Carrie, life may be complicated but it's important to have fun and enjoy the moment. That's something I want to emulate.
The movie was really girly and pro-feminine and all that and I wondered why I watched this movie. A guy watching SATC is rather odd but I loved the fashion and the setting. The story, I didn't really get it so much till I analyzed hard. I mean, four women in New York talking about men and stuff was a new change and interest for me. Wow! The world is so big after all! I didn't expect that sex was such a normal topic to these women when in the Philippines, talking about it is kind of like a taboo or something.
It became one of my favorite movies. It was smart and intellectual and fabulous. And I love Carrie Bradshaw! She's a writer in New York which is what I have always wanted to become. I want to write articles for newspapers and magazines and have a beautiful life and all that and plenty of money! And live in New York!
Fast forward to July of 2009...
I didn't really want to watch SATC the series as it was too girly and all but I was just really curious so I bought the first three seasons. I can't say that I'm hooked because the story really isn't my thing but I liked it. I'm obsessed with Carrie's working status. Imagine writing a column and that's just that! You party all night and get to do the job you love most!
It's a little tiring to watch these women talk about sex and boys though, but you learn a lot from a womans perspective or from the show itself. It's also fun to watch what they wear and how they pull it off. Not that I intend on wearing their wardrobe or anything! Plus, the New York scene is to die for! I've always wanted to go there ever since.
Carrie is also always typing in her laptop which is what we have in common. She loves to write and so do I! The difference is that she has something to write about and I do not! I mean, I aways have to think about what to write everytime I open my Blogger account!
The truth is I'm not really a good writer, I barely use difficult words and I sound like a dumb blonde(according to my estranged sister). I just want to make people laugh and relate to me. So?
Like Carrie, life may be complicated but it's important to have fun and enjoy the moment. That's something I want to emulate.
House Arrest
Very, very bad news: Swine flu has hit Cagayan de Oro!
Good news: Classes are cancelled till July 27!
Because of this Swine flu coming over here to slowly take over the world, everyone was in lithium! Not everyone was happy though, some were whining about not getting an allowance for almost a week and a half! Crazy!
My friends and I were strolling around Divisoria to look for a place where we could have a drink when they took me to a place that was disgusting and embarassing to be seen at! (Note the exclamation point)
They were bugging me for weeks to go hang out in my house but I wouldn't let them because I really don't like strangers in my house but because of that place they took me to I decided to give in and offered my place. I warned them of course. My place is a shit shack! It's so messy it looked like the place was abandoned or something, but they insisted.
Would you just look at my trash? Don't be deceived! All of those garbage are take-outs! I'm depending on fast food now. Sad.
Because of this Swine flu coming over here to slowly take over the world, everyone was in lithium! Not everyone was happy though, some were whining about not getting an allowance for almost a week and a half! Crazy!
My friends and I were strolling around Divisoria to look for a place where we could have a drink when they took me to a place that was disgusting and embarassing to be seen at! (Note the exclamation point)
They were bugging me for weeks to go hang out in my house but I wouldn't let them because I really don't like strangers in my house but because of that place they took me to I decided to give in and offered my place. I warned them of course. My place is a shit shack! It's so messy it looked like the place was abandoned or something, but they insisted.
Would you just look at my trash? Don't be deceived! All of those garbage are take-outs! I'm depending on fast food now. Sad.
Anyway, as we arrived the house they were not completely disgusted about its messiness but instead, they helped me clean out a little bit. God bless those kids! We were just watching Angels and Demons when I accidentally slept in my room. I woke up in like 9am or something and completely panicked! I had visitors last night!
I opened my door and found them on the "sala", sleeping. This was the first time any of my friends slept in my house because I would never invite one or offered so this was a very cool change for me. Not that they're gonna do it more often 'coz I totally would not tolerate that!
We spent the afternoon together watching videos in youtube.com in which I absolutely can't stop singing Nobody by Wondergirls as they showed me the video!
After they left I watched... it's embarassing! But it wasn't porn! Really!
Case on point? Nothing really. I just wanted to share.
I opened my door and found them on the "sala", sleeping. This was the first time any of my friends slept in my house because I would never invite one or offered so this was a very cool change for me. Not that they're gonna do it more often 'coz I totally would not tolerate that!
We spent the afternoon together watching videos in youtube.com in which I absolutely can't stop singing Nobody by Wondergirls as they showed me the video!
After they left I watched... it's embarassing! But it wasn't porn! Really!
Case on point? Nothing really. I just wanted to share.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My head is not set for an education (Boo Hoo!)
Why am I surfing the internet when I'm supposed to be studying for the premiminary exams tomorrow? Answer: Maybe I don't care. Well, I do care but there's this little voice inside my head that I don't! But I can barely hear that little voice so I'm listening to the louder one "Don't Study!".
I know, I'm acting stupid and irresponsible but I really hate studying and even though I don't understand or recall any of my lessons I'm still hoping to pass with my gut instincts! I mean, how many of you really study? Okaay! A lot of you dear readers do but I don't!
Little Voice: Joule, pag-study na, please!
Uhmm... am I gonna study or not? Maybe browse through the pages? No? How about copying? No! Not an option, or maybe it is! I don't know!
I realized something just recently, I'm not a smart cookie. Some people think I am but the truth is, is that I'm no good at lessons or school related stuff. In fact, I really don't know what I'm good at! Not even at Facebook! This so major catastrophe! What would become of me in my future? Salesman for the grocery store? Cashier? Waiter? Carwash boy? No offense to people who have those jobs but I don't want to end up like them! I wanna wear a suit for my job, thank you!
Light bulb on my head just sparked a light! Idea! Does that mean study? I hope not!
Anyway, looks like I don't have a choice, study it is!
Happy?
I know, I'm acting stupid and irresponsible but I really hate studying and even though I don't understand or recall any of my lessons I'm still hoping to pass with my gut instincts! I mean, how many of you really study? Okaay! A lot of you dear readers do but I don't!
Little Voice: Joule, pag-study na, please!
Uhmm... am I gonna study or not? Maybe browse through the pages? No? How about copying? No! Not an option, or maybe it is! I don't know!
I realized something just recently, I'm not a smart cookie. Some people think I am but the truth is, is that I'm no good at lessons or school related stuff. In fact, I really don't know what I'm good at! Not even at Facebook! This so major catastrophe! What would become of me in my future? Salesman for the grocery store? Cashier? Waiter? Carwash boy? No offense to people who have those jobs but I don't want to end up like them! I wanna wear a suit for my job, thank you!
Light bulb on my head just sparked a light! Idea! Does that mean study? I hope not!
Anyway, looks like I don't have a choice, study it is!
Happy?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I'm A Leader. Well, Sort of Anyway.
Last week, I was elected as first year representative for my course BS-Developmental Communication, I didn't really know what I was gonna be doing with my position but I ran anyway.
Actually, I didn't really run for the position, I was nominated by friends of mine who, unfortunately, are becoming a leech! More on that later. Anyway, I won (obviously) and I gave this conceited speech about my victory and the crowd went wild (naturally).
My first task was to collect names, numbers, birthdates and e-mail addresses from all first year students in the same course as mine. It turned out to be pretty easy and I also gave an announcement to the whole class which is a pretty big deal for me because I love attention (sometimes).
The second task is a little bit harder though. Organize/create a presentation for the General Assembly which will be held at Manresa this coming Saturday.
My co-representative and I were thinking of millions of stuff on what to present and ended up with a play which she made that I haven't read yet. It's supposed to be a comedy or something. Which is supposed to be funny and make people laugh. I'm not really sure it's gonna make people crack up because not everybody gets english jokes. I mean, they do get it but it's just not as funny as a vernarcular one.
Apparently a band pitched for me to let them play during the General Assembly which I agreed to but I still have to ask permission to the Commitee if they would allow a band. I hope so! Those kids really want to play! I don't want to be their instrument of dissapointment because I already am to all sorts of things.
Now, I'm gonna go crazy thinking about who I'm gonna pick to be in a pageant for the department. Someone tall, good looking and smart. And oh, confident. Me? Just kidding!
I'm gonna attend my first meeting with the committee tomorrow. I hope I break a leg (metaphorically!).
Actually, I didn't really run for the position, I was nominated by friends of mine who, unfortunately, are becoming a leech! More on that later. Anyway, I won (obviously) and I gave this conceited speech about my victory and the crowd went wild (naturally).
My first task was to collect names, numbers, birthdates and e-mail addresses from all first year students in the same course as mine. It turned out to be pretty easy and I also gave an announcement to the whole class which is a pretty big deal for me because I love attention (sometimes).
The second task is a little bit harder though. Organize/create a presentation for the General Assembly which will be held at Manresa this coming Saturday.
My co-representative and I were thinking of millions of stuff on what to present and ended up with a play which she made that I haven't read yet. It's supposed to be a comedy or something. Which is supposed to be funny and make people laugh. I'm not really sure it's gonna make people crack up because not everybody gets english jokes. I mean, they do get it but it's just not as funny as a vernarcular one.
Apparently a band pitched for me to let them play during the General Assembly which I agreed to but I still have to ask permission to the Commitee if they would allow a band. I hope so! Those kids really want to play! I don't want to be their instrument of dissapointment because I already am to all sorts of things.
Now, I'm gonna go crazy thinking about who I'm gonna pick to be in a pageant for the department. Someone tall, good looking and smart. And oh, confident. Me? Just kidding!
I'm gonna attend my first meeting with the committee tomorrow. I hope I break a leg (metaphorically!).
Guess What
Something has been bothering me all day because it just wont get out of my head no matter how I try to distract myself from thinking it! It's starting to take over me! I'm exaggerating a little bit of course but it just won't go!
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