I talk about myself too much don't I?

Recently, I had this classmate who annoys me to death because that CM(classmate) ignores me and treats me like I'm a person who spat on his shoe on the street whenever I talk to that CM. I couldn't help but whine about that CM to my other CMs.

I told my CM that I know for a fact that I'm not a likeable person and thats fine with me because it always has been that way and I'm used to it when my CM said that I was right: Nobody likes me. I was not entirely shocked about that comment(or fact) but I was a liitle hurt and I couldn't help but ask who they were. My CM didn't really want to mention who but I insisted so my CM told me: Eveyone!

Shocker! In a way, I wasn't surprised because in a way I know it was partly my fault. Everyone says that I'm snobby and don't really look friendly and I don't change that about me. I don't know, in some weird way I kind of like it that I'm like that even though I know in my heart that I should smile a little bit and be approachable.

I was mad of the people who didn't like me even though I'm responsible for not being liked in the first place. How could they not? I'm funny, witty and uhmm... I forgot what people say about me. The point is, even though I'm not really the friendliest face in the campus it's not like I'm not trying or anything.

Anyway, remember the CM I was talking about in the first paragraph? Well, that CM and I, with other CMs, had lunch together and surprisingly, with my best efforts, my CM actually talked to me like a real person. Though I wasn't counting on it in any way.

Later that day we were going somewhere to return a thing and that CM who ignored me went with me and other CMs. After returning what I borrowed I ws yapping away in the jeepney about something and I overshared to my CMs that I remembered what my other CM from highschool told me: I overshare too much and that I'm really open.

I realized that I have done the oversharing thing again which I promised my self not to do anymore a few years ago. Damn! It's so hard to change yourself isn't it? Now, I'm fearing that my CMs might share the information I stupidly let out of my mouth to other people. What I said wasn't really a big deal but it was personal, sort of. Is it possible to make my mouth shut for just once?

My CMs and I aren't really that close much but I think I trust them. Here we go again. That's my problem, I trust people too much too easily even though I hardly know them. I think its a good thing but sometimes it leaves me in a bad position. Should I completely change some things about myself for my own sake? Or am I just doing these stuff for approval or acceptance? I don't know the answer to these questions which make it even harder for me to figure it out. The worst thing is that nobody is helping me about it. Everytime I share a problem or personal stuff nobody seems to care. Not even my 'close' friends.

I let it out on my blog sometimes because if I don't I might explode and the world may end. Corny, I know.

I'd love some comments. Please.