The Social Ladder

I posted this on my Facebook account and I feel like I have some explaining to do even though it sounds dead defensive, immature and insecure.

I'm only stooping to this level because I actually care about what other people say about me even though it isn't really healthy. Okay, just to be clear, nobody in my entire life has ever called me a SOCIAL CLIMBER and I haven't even heard of gossips about me being 'that'. I'm affected in a way because the only person who calls me a social climber(so much for nobody calling me one!) is my sister and she means that. If ever there's a person who knows the real me it would be my sister but she's not always right and she knows that. I sometimes prove her wrong.

Here goes, I'm terrified to be called a social mountaineer because I know a lot of people who are one and you wouldn't even believe how much time other people allot on backbiting those kind of people! I'm gonna admit that I'm actually one of them though not that harsh and judgemental but still, it's no excuse for backbiting others.

My "FRIEND" was the first one to tell me straight to my face. Maybe not tell me but implied it. Just to be clear, I am not sure that 'friend' really did imply that because I'm such a paranoid stick and people always tell me to get over it and people do not think that of me but I can't help it!

Forgive me for being so MAARTE sometimes. Little things like not wanting to use the internet cafe because it's germ infested, not placing dining utensils the proper way, manners, etc. I'm sorry. They call me a perfectionist but it isn't true because I'm not that organized or hygienic or whatever! Not those OC kind of people. In a way I am though but not fully. Blah!

I really don't know what made my 'friend' saw what I didn't. Was it because I was maarte? Because I had 'stuff'? Though not designer but more expensive than my friends'? I'm not the type of person who counts material things as a way to up my social status nor befriending rich people. And for that matter I don't have rich friends!

To be honest, some of my classmates are intimidated by me and my circle of friends because we are what they would call SOSYAL. I despise that word. Why? Because I always believed and instilled what my mother taught me, she said " Joule, you should always be simple and live simply. We may not have everything we desire but at least we're able to feed our stomachs and send you to school." How inspiring. Because of her I never look at people lowly and I treat them equally.

That is why I am not the SOSYAL type and never will be and I don't think I deserve to be a social climber either.

Have you evaluated your social self yet?