It's Not A Goodbye Blogger

Because nobody really reads my Blogger account, I decided to switch to tumblr.

Check it out.

joulovisabella.tumblr.com

So, no goodbyes. Gonna update this from time to time.

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

(Gossip Girl's Voice): Sometimes desperation makes people do embarassing things. Some people get rejected while some get rewarded. Because everything is worth a try, why don't you? Congrats Joule. You earned it.

(Joulo): Thank you GG! Blair's not gonna be happy about our friendship. Btw, I wrote my uncle a letter. I think it's funny, hence the share. My friend Kating said she felt like she read a version of the Devil Wears Prada! Kat is sooo Miranda Priestly! Of course, I'd be Emily and not Andy.

"Dear Uncle Boboy,

I'm having the most difficulty on how to start this letter and the guts that I mustered has been quite brave for me 'coz I don't normally do this. So, here goes. First of all, how are you and your family?

Due to my hospitalization and other side expenses, my parents have given up on giving me money because we have a planned trip to Malaysia come semestral break, though I doubt that's still coming through 'coz we have to find our missing passports still, but what can I do? I fell in love.

As I was strolling the glory of the aircon-ditioned LimKetKai mall I happened to pass by a store, Republik.

I was just innocently window shopping when the world just stopped and all I could hear was the pounding of my heart in excitement.

Stuck in revelry for a while, I slowly walked to my desire in slow motion as if in a movie and then grabbed what I would call my love at first sight.

Clad in blue high quality leather with a white trim and tassels hanging so nonchalantly it was as if it was teasing me, I just knew that it was the ONE.

Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but I'm like, obsessed. Borderline crazy actually. Near meltdown and tantrum.

It's shoes. DON"T SAY THEY'RE JUST SHOES. I'm sure that when you were young you were also in love with superficial stuff and you can relate to the feeling! Lol.

You know those moments where you're about to sleep then something just pops into your mind? Well, that's the feeling I get with those shoes.

Like the title, desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm madly in love and obsessed. I don't know where I would turn to but you. I mean, your like a cool uncle. No pun intended. You know the euphoric high of fashion items.

So here goes my BAGA UG NAWONG nga plead. Begging diay. On bended knees, though I doubt you'd see it. As in begging jud!

I kind of need P 4,500. OMG. Yuo're shocked. Nosebleed! Choking!

Huhuhu! I'm just so desperate! I mean, what would Jesus do? I'm sure he'd succumb to my favor and he'd think I deserved it 'coz I'm such a good student and son. I'm sure you'd consider. Hehe.

Okay, so you'd think that I really deserve this. here goes: I'm a writer for our school publication, a second year lever representative for my course DevCom and an ACIL cathecist teacher in MOGCCHS. Not convinced?

I'm not a nerdy achiever but I do get good average grades. I always clean the house and remind Leanne of the values our parents has taught us. I'm a very good brother giving her advice and everything. I'm not really a people person but my friends do like me. They even say that I'm sikat daw and I just stand out. They saaid that ha. Not me! Hahaha!

So if you please. Begging mode. Please Uncle Boboy? Please?

But if you refuse to give me money for my shoes, I will understand that you want me to be heartbroken and suffering from the pain of retail loss. Hahha! Just kidding! I would understand. Really.

I have a Western Union account btw. Hahha! JK.

Hoping for a happiness inducing reply. Hihihihihi.

Your very good nephew,

Joulo"

(Joulo): So happy my uncle gave a positive reply. Yeeey!

(Gossip Girl): Oooh. Shameless. You deserve an epic Gossip Girl blast.

(Joulo): Whoa! Wait! Whaddayamean?

(Gossip Girl): Dear Joulo, just wait and see.

Innovating Student Governance

Belles du Jour

I apologize for the lack of recent posts. It's been a long time, I know. Do you realize how busy(busyhan) I am these days? Gosh. the pressures of school and peers.

to make it up to you guys(anyone?) I'm posting this pic of Blake Lively and Leighton Meester from Paris on the set of Gossip Girl. So tres chic, eh? I'm so excited for Season 4. Bonjour!

The Curious Case of Automated Fraud

Never have I imagined that the recent election would be epic, historic and the constant subject of debate in my conversations. The hype seemed ecstatic and was everywhere, from rubber ballers to catchy political songs to a leaked mental disorder form, etc. The list could go on and on.

It all started when former President of the Philippines Cory Aquino passed away from cancer which led the country asking if her son Noynoy would pursue presidential candidacy. I never tuned in for the latest news regarding politics before but this was news that was making its place in history as days passed by. People waited in deep breaths on Noynoy’s decision which caused quite the popularity he was never given before being a brother to famous TV personality Kris Aquino.

The announcement was officially made and the color yellow was everywhere. Even former Presidential candidate Mar Roxas stepped down to run instead for Vice Presidency in favor for his fellow Atenista.

The country was divided in choice for the next leader but united in hopes and dreams for a better Philippines. The surveys were up, the frenzy was crazy and people couldn’t wait for the 10th of May to arrive.

One of the great things about this election though are not only the smart and eligible candidates, the youth speaking out but also the innovation of an automated election through Smartmatic machines. It was easier, safer and arguably more efficient than the usual type of voting people were used to since the country elected its public officials. It caused a debate though as it, people claimed, was easier to manipulate the votes through computer hacking. The makers of Smartmatic rejects those allegations insuring that it was safe as simply put by the president of Smartmatic—shade, open, close and transmit. Voila! Now go get that thumb inked.

Cool right?

But the heat turned up to the highest degree when the winners were announced. Noynoy Aquino became President with Jejomar Binay with his side as Vice President. It would turn out to be one of the most peaceful elections ever with losing candidates conceding but some were not contented with the result. They demanded recount and accused Smartmatic of manipulating votes. They also claim of being cheated without proof.

The Department of Justice (DOJ) started gathering evidence for the investigation while the Nationl Bureau of Investigation (NBI) addressed the complaints with their own investigation bringing in people from Smartmatic for questioning and checking the tampered memory cards.

Apparently, The Commission of Elections (Comelec) are looking into the source of yet another tape scandal called “Hello, Nico” allegedly between Interior and Local Government Sectary Ronaldo Puno and Comelec Commissioner Nicodemo Ferrer discussin poll fraud.

Even though the amount to purchase the PCOS machines—7 Billion Pesos—the government has leased them after the 2010 election, it is still looking forward to using it this upcoming 2013 election. But Smartmatic might not be paid in full regarding the circumstances.

The Thai Sauce Wars

Unexpectedly, I took a bite into a subject I hardly touch which is politics but then I took the necessary chewing and then swallowed into the delicious scandal of the civil war in Thailand.

Let me enlighten you, Thailand is on the brink of a civil war due to the ousting of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra in 2006 who was appointed by Thailand’s King Bhumibol Adulyadej. The country then divided into colors you might familiarly find in cheeseburgers: Ketchup(Red) and Mustard(Yellow).

The Red wearing population rallied and caused enormous damages across Bangkok in protest to the ousting of Shinawatra in terms of corruption and absentia while traveling abroad in favor of the Thai King’s elected Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva which the red protesters claimed unjust and a biased decision from the royal leader which led to almost two dozen deaths according to CNN.com when the military was needed. But that whirlwind decision was supported by the pro-government Yellow wearing patriots who counterclaim that Shinawatra’s win in the election was fraud.

According to CNN.com this is a classic case of power struggle between the rich and poor. Apparently, Thaksin became a threat to the bourgeois class when he enacted populist policies which was popularly supported by the rural class that led to concerned billionaires who were afraid to be cast away in their position. The army, supported by the sour billionaire mustards successfully ousted Shinawatra.

Even though the taste of ketchup and mustard compete in flavor it still doesn’t seem to wane the interest of tourists to visit the beautiful country filled with legendary tourist spots, cuisine and a very rich culture. However divided the country maybe in terms of politics, the tourism is booming especially after the disastrous Tsunami six years ago. The smell of Thailand is definitely worth the bite which will remain indigested in memory and experience.

First Video Posting(How Epic)

My first attempt to post a video. I know right, LOSER.

Eenie Meenie: Devon or Tricia?

It wasn't even the full show itself but the previews already made Tricia Santos of Pinoy Big Brother Teen Clash 2010 a trending topic not only to major websites but also through conversations and text messages. She won more fans due to the lack of Villa housemates and an incomplete set of Apartment housemates who made a decision on which party to attend, hers or Devon's.

Personally, I would've picked Tricia's soiree because ever since from the start of the show I never despised her. I never really got the hatred the other housemates felt because I understood Tricia to the bone. There were times when she was a bit annoying but she worked those negative comments about her but the other housemates could not be impressed or contented.

Poor Tricia Santos was a human target.

The viewers of the show however were feeling the exact opposite as been proven through her weekly votes rank and that party episode would no doubt increase public adoration.

That particular episode really hit me because I could relate to Tricia. She was being ganged up on, stabbed behind her back and been shown cruelty in public. Yes, I have been through all that. It's safe to say that I didn't have the perfect childhood where everybody from school to the neighborhood bullied me throughout those years, even still today.

I know how she feels where you don't know who to trust and you have no one to talk to about the torment but Tricia is luckier than me because she has supportive parents. Not that I don't have supportive parents because they are but they just weren't there always as they are abroad working. But I got through it without nobody holding my hand or making me feel good about myself because I'm a fighter which obviously Tricia also is too.

Watching her sob listening to the fun that was happening at the next house made me even hate the Filipino housemates even more because that was what exactly the Pinoy youth is, a team. I had a hard time fitting in(until today) because everybody ganged up on me like the housemates did. They were influenced by other housemates and made little things bigger by talking about it as a group. It's very dysfunctional and cruel and the worst part is they are being watched by millions of people. The least they could do is to show some respect to each other and lay off the back stabbing on national television.

That episode should be a lesson to everyone especially the teens that it is not okay to gang up on others, to give others a chance to prove themselves that they are not what they seem and try to understand and be open minded because nobody deserves to be treated like an outsider or they don't belong.

I'm sure Tricia is a strong girl and that she can still change what others are bothered of because she's young. She deserves my vote and I'm sure yours too.

Ahoy, There Matey!

Sun. Yachts. Fedora hats. Stripes. Celebrities. And Coco Chanel.

Those are a few words to how I would describe my dream destination Saint Tropez next to Paris, j'adore! Though I may not know exactly where it's located but a short trip to my online encyclopedia, Google.com, and I know not only its location on the map but also it's land mass, population and language!

But none of those really matter because all I know is that pretty soon I am flying there jet setting with the elite in Madamoiselle Coco Chanel's signature sailor stripe shirt, white shorts that end above the knee and their famous leathor goods pride, Rondini sandals.

I maybe dreaming out loud but you know what they say, if you're gonna dream might as well dream big, right?

A Divided World: The Battle Of Beauty and Personality

It was one of those lazy afternoons where I would get up from bed late and then surf the internet while listening to newly downloaded music when I got bored from the cycle and decided to shut the computer down and just stare outside the window when all of a sudden I turn around and there they were. My two heroes who saved me from boredom, my gay neighbor friend and his boyfriend. I was so shocked and very taken by the scenery that was just a feet away from me that I had to hide behind the curtain and took a satisfactory peek.

There were hundreds of things that ran into my mind during that brief secret encounter--how silly of me to be snooping on such a socially controversial relationship, the things I would gossip to our mutual friend, the looks of the boyfriend, the looks of my friend, etc, etc.

What struck me the most is that how could my friend bag someone so out of his league in the looks department? Not that the boyfriend was a looker himself but he somehow had this physical appeal a little bit. He was fair skinned, had a good skinny build and dressed well while my friend whom I have known since childhood was UGLY. I'm not being mean just honest. It's not like everyone doesn't agree with me because all our friends thinks he is and that he smells and doesn't have good hygiene or has one for that matter. Trust me, when you see my friend you wouldn't think I'm being mean and bitchy at all, you would totally sympathize on the fact that I even had a friend like that. Okay, now that's mean and I'm sorry but I just couldn't get over the fact a walking garbage could attract an average looking Sam Concepcion.

It's been quite a cliche really, beautiful people dating ugly ones but every time we saw a weird combination we can't help but ask what was the blessed one thinking and what was with that disaster? The popular answer would be, the personality. Ah, personality. It can take you a long way that not even beauty or money can trump. It's how the unfortunate looking ones made it and it's tried and tested. You can be wearing some crazy Lady Gaga outfit in a room but you will never ever stand out without the personality. Kind of ironic and it makes you think that God DID make everyone equal. The ugly people get the personality, most of the time. I'm not saying it's always the case but in most scenarios it is a fact. I wouldn't have to worry though, I have both. KIDDING! Don't raise that eyebrow on me. 'Kay fine, go ahead.

But that sneaking around behind the curtains was a big thing for me though 'coz it made me ask myself where I belong. Beauty or personality?

The hell with personality I'm crossing my fingers for beauty.

Bitches On High Horses

On an episode of Gossip Girl, which I religiously watch, Dan Humphrey described everyones secret alter ego Blair Waldorf as 'oozing with girly evil' which I thought was genius 'coz it was then that I realized that Saddam Hussein evil is different from a high school brat princess evil. In fact, it's even scarier than a plane crashing on a building scarring everyone who survived the 'attack'.

Like what they always say-high school never ends, it just follows you everywhere you go and for now, its following me throughout my college existence. I really got over this whole cat fight set up which I was used to in elementary through high school but this is college and everything is bigger. That means that the mean girls' devil tiara got more sharp and pointy it could stick an eye out. They are among us, my friend. It could be someone famous in campus, your classmate or even worse, your friend.

You see, I have this friend who everyone hates because of her inability to keep secrets, amazing skills on disseminating whats locked in Pandora's box and believable storytelling. Yeah, this girl is very talented in terms of the 'girl world' as Cady Heron of Mean Girls would call it. She was spreading nasty rumors of our friend which eventually reached my vulnerable friend.

My friend who was now the subject of every gossip got fed up so she took the revenge scheme to Facebook and boy, did the lie blabber got what she deserved. NOT! Okay, at first I thought that what my friend did, creating a hate page with unflattering pictures and alleged narcissistic status updates, was very funny and clever until I introduced my sister to be a fan of the page 'coz it was damn hilarious when I got a different reaction from her. She was kind of mad to the girl who created the page justifying that it was not justifiable for her to do that even though she was being attacked by claims of sluttiness which was probably not even true. She reasoned that nobody deserved such cruelty and that every deserved a chance. I told her that my friend did give my other friend a chance but she did it again so now she's facing the repercussions of her harsh actions. My sister wouldn't give up though. She kept yapping away about social humiliation and then asked me something I haven't thought about being blinded by how much effort and humor was given to the hate page "Would you really go to that extent-creating a page to humiliate someone in front of her friends even though you have good reason for doing it?"

My sister is no saint herself but she did have a point. A point so clear you could see it from afar. I mean, when did others get to think that a hate page out of someones expense was funny and just?

A close friend of mine talked about the frightening situation where she really opened my eyes about what I truly am, one of those mean girls I've been so afraid of. I was so focused on putting myself on my poor friend who created the hate page that I forgot about being plainly a good person who was raised well by his parents. My friend said that she avoids mean girls because they're very hard people to deal with and it would be risking her reputation to social pariah.

This situation leaves me wondering, when were hurt is it necessary for us to humiliate others for revenge to the point where they transfer schools?

Someday I Can Afford A Vuitton

This image is from garancedore.fr and I just had to post it here on my blog because of that leather! Man! I wonder how that feels! And it's a Vuitton for crying out loud! Sigh. If only money grew on trees.

Through The Brownout

Due to lower levels of water we, Kagay-anons, get our supply of taken-for-granted electricity the city has been dealt with the unfortunate mass brownout that I recently discovered can able to rotate. Everyone had their fair share of complaints not being able to do even the most domestic tasks because of the power interruption that lasted for six hours. Sometimes even more. Obviously, one of those poor souls is me.

It started, as I can recall, during early March where I was loaded with a lot of requirements to finish off the semester at school. I depended most of the time of my computer especially the internet when all of a sudden, like a bubble, the power was off. Every time someone says brownout I can always hear the shutting down of the refrigerator as it had the loudest sound. I would complain for hours until the electricity came back and then complain some more when the lights were turned on. I was infuriated that this thing happened everyday and the fact that it would last whole summer long made me want to dance for rain. And that's not a small thing 'coz I don't know that dance!

I got used to it eventually though I do get pissed from time to time. Then something surprising happened yesterday that I hope will continue forever and ever: there was no power interruption! Yay! Finally! I overheard on my neighbors' radio that there would be no brownout from that day on but I don't quite believe that story, yet.

Today, I was preparing for the brownout patiently when I realized that everything was on. Sneaky. What happened to the mass brownout everybody was already getting used to? Not that I'm complaining but it did have some good to it. Every time the interruption...err... interrupted, I did tasks that I wouldn't have done 'coz I'd be too lazy to do them because of nonstop consuming of precious energy for the internet and music and I would actually think about all the things that happened to my life and reflect. I know that its cheesy but I really do reflect and, as cheesy as it may sound, evaluate my life and prioritize. It's safe to say that the brownouts made me a better person in some way.

Now that it may not occur anytime soon I dreaded it. Will I have more time for chores and myself like I used to when the brownouts happened? Will I go back to my old self as the person who took electricity for granted? Possibly.

I learned a lot of things about myself, finished the chores and had silence in this loud urban jungle. I hope that everyone in the city of Cagayan de Oro did too.

Crazy Summer Boy

Before summer even began I already contemplated on what I would do during the brief vacation after months of sleepless nights, trauma and suffering that is nicknamed 'school'. I dreaded that summer would come actually, which eventually did. I'm still dreading the weeks to come before enrollment. Why? Well, let's just say that at this time of the year I'm completely blank and sweating while being blank because of the heat and nothing to do and-- whatever! I'm completely out of interest on any other things except being obsessed on what to do this summer and asking myself if I'm enjoying the experience or not. I'm going crazy. The house arrest is driving me to slit my wrist just for fun and the pain. 'Coz you know, they say the pain is the fun part... Okay, I totally made that up. I don't know. I'm just really bored.

I admit that I'm not trying hard to finding a summer job because I don't know where to look and I'm a lazy ass daydreamer. I am. No, really. While summer classes sound great(oh yeah, totally) I can't be bothered on waking up early due to staying up late surfing the internet and watching the DVD boxset of Friends Season 4. I am so not gonna be worrying about grades this time! I'm gonna relax and fly to an imaginary place where a hammock is floating on a calm blue sea. Dreamy. I even quit my gym membership because I really don't feel the people there. I think I'm coming back next month though. I think. Maybe.

So I decided that I'm gonna read more books to improve my writing which I'm not doing. I always swear tomorrow I'm gonna do it but... SIGH. I'm so hoping I could get my wish for this summer to come already so that I could practice and that would be fun for like a week but who cares? I'm having fun! Oh! And a relationship? I could be in one. But who? Argh! I hate this! Find me a partner, will you?

Complete Idiotic Garbage Nonsense

I'm super excited for a certain item I'm not going to tell you because I might not get it. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm so excited that I have a hard time sleeping imagining myself holding and using it. You probably guessed what it is or not. But rest assured, you won't probably care anyway. I just really have to blog about it 'coz"
1. I'm super excited like literally that I-- wait, didn't I just say I was excited?
2. I needed to post something new for my blog. And
3. I'm hungry. Uhmm... not relevant.

Get Me Out Of Here!

That's it! I now officially reached my highest boiling point! I don't care if the person I will talk about in another episode of Joulo Visabella's life will read this because I think that person needs to know that I'm not happy about him!

Rewind from Black Saturday:

My sister and I were expecting my cousin from Palawan whose going to board with us 'temporarily' for his business. I didn't really feel any connection ever since I got up from bed still not quite awake to meet him. To be fair, I've only met this guy for the first time since my siblings and I aren't really close to my fathers relatives.

The thing is, I'm not used to strangers in the house. I really hate it when there are other people in my house because I feel that my space is being invaded and that I can't do stuff I'm comfortable with with them around. Not especially when those strangers call my home their own too.

First of all, this pesky human being (pardon me for using these words, I'm just really annoyed) doesn't fo anything in the house! Oh wait, he does! He surfs the internet for hours and just lazes around the house while obviously, the house needs a makeover! Argh! I hate that! Whenever I watch television he watches it with me! Dude, come on! Jeez!

His cooking! Blah! He's supposed to be an HRM graduate but I don't like his cooking. Not that he cooks a lot 'coz I recall him doing that only twice and that was eggs and hotdog. Damn it! I need something to calm me.

Watch this space!

No, I'm Not A Drunkard.

It's been a while since my last post and as obvious as it might sound, a lot of things has happened. Over the time of my absence I would say that not only things have changed, but also me. Okay, seems like I have a lot of stories to tell but I'm gonna summarize this in one word: VICES. Yup, vices. I'm not saying I'm proud of them(which is kinda what it would seem since I wrote it here), I'm just sharing. Nope, not bragging(why the hell would I?).

Before I couldn't stand drinking(alcohol) because of the taste but now, hanging out with friends who don't hesitate an open bar(clubs, sometimes. Not those nasty clubs, perv! Y'know, like, Pulse. Pulse is a club, right?!) would seem like so disrespectful for me not to hop in their activities. Not that I'm blaming them or anything! I do refuse to gulp a shot sometimes. SOMETIMES. I found out that my past of judging people who drink, especially women, was hypocritical, immature and ignorant. Come on, there's nothing wrong with drinking(even in excess. Don't burn me.), it's a group activity wherein you engage in the spirit of friendship and camaraderie.

Actually, the more I drink the more I realize it's purpose. It's not about getting wasted and intoxicating your insides till you lose your consciousness, it's about hanging out with peers and talk. It's like a ritual really, after you eat dinner(LUNCH too), you drink up. It's fun! I would know, I've tried it. Way too many times.

I know, I sound like a kid who just discovered the wonders of alcoholic beverages, an ignorant misguided lost teenager and a home-schooled freak(yep, I was home-schooled) but I really have nothing interesting to write about and I've been itching to update my blog like, weeks ago. I've been too busy to PRACTICE(honing) my writing capabilities. That is, if I have any. Really.

I'm gonna keep this short since I'm not really in the writing mood today.

P.S. I'm not drunk.

A Journ For DevJourn

My English 17 Speech:


Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen!

I stumbled upon something that made me happy recently. It was as if the thing I saw never existed for quite sometime now for being forgotten and neglected in a shelf. The dust motes were thick and looked sad with age as I blew them to go away and see the clear ‘picture’. My heart jumped and my emotions took a detour. What started was a happy feeling turned into utter sadness as I recall the day of how the photograph was taken. It was as if someone turned the music on in my ears as the sound of that day emerged back into life followed by the familiar scent of the sand and sea then the it’s warm feeling when you touch them, the heat that made my eyes squint through the rest of the experience and especially, the feeling of the moment. I sighed with sheer desperation on a thought, ‘What if’.

What if I could go back to that moment? What if thing were the same as they used to be? What if things never had to change? …

A moment that was filled of ‘what ifs’ ate my time when I suddenly realized that sometimes, to be THAT happy in a picture is better left that way than to reminisce past hurts and wrong decisions. My, how a photograph can make or break your day. A single shot can capture a brief moment of emotion that was either real or fake. A photograph can stir feelings and bring back thoughts that have been forgotten or neglected to take notice of. Sometimes, it can also make us ask why this certain snap came back and we come to a conclusion that it did for a reason. Maybe the picture was meant to come back to make us realize about things that we have forgotten. To remind us of who we were or we are. To make us know how much we moved on and matured as a person. About knowing how much time can be so important and realize why some people consider it golden. Maybe to make us smile when were so busy to even do so.

Recapturing those faces in that picture seems hard and almost impossible. No wait, not impossible, just difficult. But isn’t that really the point of pictures? To capture the moment in a rectangular box and sealing its identity? Some of you might agree or disagree but that is the essence I think. There are those people who come into our lives who bring joy or sadness regardless of them staying there temporarily or forever. What’s important is the lessons we learned from them and the times we shared with them, of course, captured in a lens with sometimes crappy lighting.

Now grab a camera, smile and strike a pose my friends.

Synthesis Paper(To be passed tommorow!)

My FFP synthesis paper:

I.

I haven’t heard of FFP during the first semester actually. I just knew that the following semester I would be needing a white book with a flame print on it. I really didn’t care about the subject so much even though I was already attending the classes. To tell you the truth, I thought that FFP would be the simplest subject in my load but as it turns out, it proved to be quite stressful. Not bad stressful but good stressful, okay, maybe sometimes bad stressful. I learned a lot of values from this subject especially about myself and God. I’m sure that my journey in this subject is one to be remembered… forever.

II.

The first module seems to be more focused on the academic side so I learned various things about my life as a student. Competitiveness, leadership, cooperation, punctuality, responsibility, diligence, consideration and more especially about those two famous words an Atenean would know, Cura Personalis, which means caring for the other person. Truth of the matter is, I could care less about other people until came across those sacred words. Well, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t care for others entirely but I consider their feelings and the situation.The module also taught me about handling stress which was very helpful because I get stressed all time not just on school work but also with my personal life. Most importantly, the value of leadership. I was chosen as the leader of my group but sometimes I can’t help to neglect my responsibilities due to laziness but I overcome my tired state and perform the best that I could.

III.

The most significant learning in Module 2 would be the very inspiring man that goes by the name of John Foppe, a man disabled since birth but despite the lack of arms lived a very happy life share with a loving, caring and supporting family and understanding and true friends who according to Mr. Foppe “not laugh at him, laugh with him”. After the film showing of this unsung hero of the lost souls I began reflecting on things that I neglected and disregarded nor care as a human being with complete physical parts and through that self realization I came to a conclusion that I have not maximized my stay on Earth doing silly things and not doing things that make me happy like Mr. Foppe. I also realized that I took my physical completeness for granted. It made me think of rerouting my life to a good direction, one that makes me happy, fulfilled and contented, though it’s hard to be contented.

IV.

There’re so much “Ignatian” in the following modules that you can already start a guessing game on how many times it appeared! I’m just kidding. On the remaining modules, both talk about different things that all lead in one direction, point, meaning and that is being a good person for God. Don’t they? Shouldn’t we? What’s important is the humility in us, the Cura Personalis, the change we want to see, all the Ignatian values and spirituality that we should apply in us not just for us but for other people which is the main point anyway, caring for others. Then again, there’s leadership and the importance of participation and obedience. Last but not the least, Magis. I know, this word is overly popular. Magis here, Magis there, Magis everywhere. But that’s what it’s for, to do our best in any given task or challenge.

V.

It saddens me to write the conclusion of this synthesis paper because as I was typing part IV, everything about FFP came back, the class discussions, activities, my classmates, my formator and waking up early in the morning. I can’t believe that I made it and now that I’m getting used to it, it had to end. Yet we all have to move on and continue the lessons that this subject has taught us. Although Ma’am Reine forbids us to use this line but… therefore I conclude, my FFP experience will never end just because the subject has, it will continue till I live my life in a true Atenean fashion with Ignatian values. God bless!

Love(?) Rant

As the semester is slowly coming to a close I become more and more impatient of making a connection with someone. I don't really want to call it CRUSH because in some way I'm making a big deal out of it when the fact of the matter is that I'm not. Okay, you're gonna say that I am making a big deal about it by blogging about it but another fact is that I'm bored and that I'm really desperate. I don't know. It's just that March is here and the PERSON is already graduating anfd there's no more time. I would never make moves of some sort because in some weird way I'm happy being with myself and being left alone sometimes. Damn it. Gosh! So desperate. God, please help.

Joulo's Body

For my entire life I have always been literally a stick. I kept complaining of course. There wasn't a day that I didn't and not one of those days have I ever liked my body. I admit that being thin can sometimes be easy because I could fit in small spaces or I stand out but it's really hard. You know, like when there are games and your group mates don't trust you 'coz they assume my energy will be used up for a couple of minutes. I have not been teased to losing my confidence about my size and shape but sometimes there is that somebody who might taunt me.

For years I have planned on gaining weight that led me to bingeing and taking supplements but alas, none of those worked until my cousin who's as thin as I am went to the gym with his hottie girlfriend for three months and stopped. Like an unexpected happy ending, he ballooned and that turned on the green light for me: I am going to the gym! The question really was when because I didn't have the time and the confidence to tell my parents about it.

I admit that I am a conceited person but I am not a liar. There have been a lot of instances when people would compliment me about my face then complain about my figure. Damn. It didn't really hurt me but it was still better if I was complimented without a disclaimer.

Finally, I urged my Mom to enroll me to a gym and I opened up about my weight. Being the penny pincher that my mom is, she told me to eat up but I was quick to defend my physical state and then she finally surrendered and took me to a gym.

When we were inside the gym I was kind of embarrased because the trainor had a good body. He told me that I was a healthy boy and that I was just thin which I absolutely agree with. In a way, I was inspired by the images in my mind when I looked in the mirror. This was it. I was finally doing it. Now na!

First day didn't turn quite what I expected it to be because after the treadmill my trainor asked if I had breakfast and I said in a nervous tone "No." I know! That was so stupid! I'm so stupid! How could I not have taken breakfast when I was going to the gym and use up energy? Ugh! I felt really embarassed as the whole gym including the members chorused that I should've eaten breakfast! My mom butted in the picture too! Great-o!

I went back the day after with breakfast in my tummy ready to be burned and did the usual warm-ups and lifts and whateva! I felt good. Really good. In fact, even though I just started I already feel confident and hot! Okay, not true about the latter but I do feel healthy and energized!

I hope that my time in the gym would be a wonderful experience and that I do gain weight. Here's to hoping!

"TSADA"

I really feel sad because someone is going away and I'm never going to see that person for a long time. Maybe. It's just that, what if I never joined? What if I never made an immediate decision? What if I considered my absences to a particular subject? What if that person never thought up to make IT? What if that person was sleeping instead of typing on the computer so early in the morning? What if I never CARED?

So many what if's. So many questions. So little time. Time is an enemy. March 27 is fast approaching. It's now or never. I choose never. It's silly and stupid. It's so childish. Ugh! Why? Why can't I get over it? Why am I always cheerful whenever... Why do I always shun... Why do I think about it and then later refuse to acknowledge it?

I'm tired of this secret roller coaster. I'm done frontin'. I have to forget and move on. Damn! I feel like bursting out!

The Social Ladder

I posted this on my Facebook account and I feel like I have some explaining to do even though it sounds dead defensive, immature and insecure.

I'm only stooping to this level because I actually care about what other people say about me even though it isn't really healthy. Okay, just to be clear, nobody in my entire life has ever called me a SOCIAL CLIMBER and I haven't even heard of gossips about me being 'that'. I'm affected in a way because the only person who calls me a social climber(so much for nobody calling me one!) is my sister and she means that. If ever there's a person who knows the real me it would be my sister but she's not always right and she knows that. I sometimes prove her wrong.

Here goes, I'm terrified to be called a social mountaineer because I know a lot of people who are one and you wouldn't even believe how much time other people allot on backbiting those kind of people! I'm gonna admit that I'm actually one of them though not that harsh and judgemental but still, it's no excuse for backbiting others.

My "FRIEND" was the first one to tell me straight to my face. Maybe not tell me but implied it. Just to be clear, I am not sure that 'friend' really did imply that because I'm such a paranoid stick and people always tell me to get over it and people do not think that of me but I can't help it!

Forgive me for being so MAARTE sometimes. Little things like not wanting to use the internet cafe because it's germ infested, not placing dining utensils the proper way, manners, etc. I'm sorry. They call me a perfectionist but it isn't true because I'm not that organized or hygienic or whatever! Not those OC kind of people. In a way I am though but not fully. Blah!

I really don't know what made my 'friend' saw what I didn't. Was it because I was maarte? Because I had 'stuff'? Though not designer but more expensive than my friends'? I'm not the type of person who counts material things as a way to up my social status nor befriending rich people. And for that matter I don't have rich friends!

To be honest, some of my classmates are intimidated by me and my circle of friends because we are what they would call SOSYAL. I despise that word. Why? Because I always believed and instilled what my mother taught me, she said " Joule, you should always be simple and live simply. We may not have everything we desire but at least we're able to feed our stomachs and send you to school." How inspiring. Because of her I never look at people lowly and I treat them equally.

That is why I am not the SOSYAL type and never will be and I don't think I deserve to be a social climber either.

Have you evaluated your social self yet?

Songco. Lantapan. Talaandig. Bukidnon. Immersion.

This would be my first immersion and I wasn’t really excited because the word immersion doesn’t really arouse excitement and after learning the details on what an immersion was I got even more unexcited. But still, I considered on going for the “experience”.

FRIDAY

• I was thinking of taking the alternative for the immersion ‘coz I was really worried about hygiene and the trip.
• 9:00PM My classmates and I met up and ate our dinner at Jollibee then proceeded to Dhang Buquir’s pad and spent the night chatting which eventually ended up videoke-ing at WAT EVER which resulted to a sleepless night.

SATURDAY

• Still singing at WAT EVER and went back to Dhang’s pad, took a shower and then a nap then prepared to go to school.
• Brought breakfast at Jollibee which was a little spoiled since I ate it on the bus.
• I was assigned to Group 4 and got a little disappointed that I wasn’t appointed the leader and that the one appointed was a guy from Block C which I didn’t really like that much.
• The trip began and the seat beside the window with the faulty lock wasn’t really that comfortable. It was cold and I was shivering but totally worth it because the view was spectacular. I have seen mountains and trees before but I really enjoyed it for the first time despite napping for a few minutes.
• I really had to use the comfort room but I didn’t have the confidence to tell the driver to take a pit stop because didn’t want to cause the delay and was thinking about Cura Personalis.
• The bus arrived around 10:00AM and I quickly told Ma’am Trell that I had to release the suffering that I was going through. Thank God that we left the bus immediately and success! But before going to the comfort room I asked for directions to Bai which was my first communication to the people of the tribe which were also known as ‘Anak Ng Tribu’.
• The orientation began with the usual(and important) introduction of the important people of the tribe but the Datu was unfortunately absent due to tribal affairs.
• There were a lot of rules and some of them were ridiculous! Don’t get me wrong, I respect the rules but maybe I was just shocked because I’m from the city. Uhmm… yeah. After the somewhat scary orientation we were given small little pieces of what seemed to be a leaf and a small bit from a stem. The taste was awfully bitter and to make matters even worst: it got stuck on my throat. Water, pronto!
• I was one of the first people to board the boys’ bunk and was relieved to see a cushion mattress, not-so-warm blanket and a crinkly pillow. I made myself comfortable and took a short visit to the girls’ place which was located at the Hall of Peace. When I came back to my bed I found a lot of people inside my room(Group 4 room) who were loud and insensitive! Block C boys! No surprise there!
• Lunch, which was more like dinner, was served. I forgot to bring dishwashing paste that made my plate, spoon, fork and cup sort of disgusting but we were on the mountains and we’re supposed to sacrifice and live simply so whatever. Improperly washed dining utensils was the ‘it’ thing.
• After dinner came the group sharing where there was nothing that much to share about but it bonded the group and I found out that Lori Janubas, the Group 4 leader, was actually nice and responsible. I was really quiet because I’m the shy type but my Block A classmates kept nudging me to share and so I did and I felt that the wall between me and my group mates was broken. A little.
• Sleeping time and a talk with my roommate Rexie Neri.

SUNDAY

· Woke up early and was agonizing on the cold weather. It was really cold that I almost couldn’t stand it but I did anyway and took an early morning shower at the Hall of Peace.

· After shower was breakfast then the group gathered again to discuss rules and were assigned to which family we were gonna spend the day with.

· My group which was composed of Rexie Neri, Michellaine Ong, Christine Olalo, Sheena Mediante and Issa Toledo were sent to Datu Amay Crispin Saway’s family. They were really simple and I was not really feeling the vibe between us but as we got to know each other, it was easier to communicate and they instantly became a family and us to them.

· We were guided to the ‘garden’ by Datu Amay Crispin Saway’s son Mayumba which we teased Christin Olalo with as they looked cute together because both of them had pale skin.

· We were taught the art of ‘bagging’ which is a term for pressing the earth rolled on to a small leaf with a small thick stick and dropping tiny pieces of Chinese cabbage seed. If you thought that was easy then I hate you. Nah, just kidding. But it was really such a pain in the neck because you had to be really careful and precise and had to stay under the hot sun. I was sweating like a cold bottle of water but I remained concentrating and had fun.

· We took a lunch break and went back to Datu Amay Crispin Saway’s humble abode which he and his family calls their temporary home. Rexie Neri, Michellaine Ong and Issa Toledo prepared lunch and then we ate with the family together. They were really hospitable and they kept apologizing for their small unfinished temporary home which we kept responding “Okay ran a Amay ug Inay uy”. Their family was having fun and we met their other children who were Ate Iday, Eng-Eng and Lang-Lang.

· After dinner we went back to the garden to continue bagging and then took a dip at the ’sapa’. After that we went back home and enjoyed the ‘bulanghoy’ they prepared for us.

· 3:00PM We went back to the peace hall, took a shower and then listened to the Datu who just arrived from Davao for a talk. Sitting on the hard wood floor was painful on the back and butt but I entertained myself watching my classmates kill gigantic mosquitoes. I’m so sorry but the talk was boring and it made me sleepy. The Datu inspired me in his story about defending what he believes in when he was at forums abroad. This is a man who stands up for his beliefs. Bow.

· Picture taking ensued after the Datu’s talk and then dinner and the fun begins.

· Ma’am Trell said that we got lucky because it was full moon and the tribe celebrated that to thank and ask for prayers. The drums beating was making people dance and so everyone did including me. I’m not one to shy away from dances! I was playing the instruments as well except maybe three more which were like the major instruments. I didn’t want to ruin the party.

· The party was over by 11:00PM but I stayed with my group mates to plan what we were going to serve for tomorrow which was our schedule. I then had a lengthy chat with Rexie Neri again about life and about our friend Ethel Callo and Alfie Barba.

MONDAY

· I woke up way earlier than the scheduled time to cook and prepare breakfast for everyone. The temperature was killing me but I thought only of a nice breakfast and serving it well. I opened cans of beef loaf and helped Nene Obs fry. The presentation was really nice and the food was enjoyed and finished. Everything was perfect when somebody asked for extra rice and the rest followed. Problem was, there was no rice left. So…

· After the very enjoyed breakfast, the team gathered at the Hall of Peace for another team evaluation and sharing. Then a photo shoot with the whole team and off to the assigned family.

· My group and I were assigned to another family which I was really disappointed about because they were another farming family instead of an arts family. I complained but it fell on deaf ears. Good job.

· This family, the Llenes’, were very awkward. They already served lunch before us and so we ate and helped with the corn they were, I don’t really know how you call taking the seeds off the body of the corn. We then went to the crop site with Amay and took the leaves that would hinder the growth of the fruit or so we were told. Fortunately, Amay was really talkative and the conversation went really smoothly. A quick trip back to the sapa and then a long walk back to Amay’s house which became a little interesting when we someone who was part of the immersion(a student, obviously) tucking a Tanduay bottle inside his pants.

· We took a sip of the delicious aromatic cup of coffee homemade by Inay from their own organically grown crops.

· Fast forward to what happened about two hours later: everyone was busy practicing their dances for the variety show.

· Variety Show: Very fun and kind of tiring! We were standing the whole time my knees were aching and my skin was feeling sticky because of the dust. It didn’t rain like when we arrived.

TUESDAY

· After the very long variety show, I went with my friends Renelyn Lastimosa, Allyn Maasin, Volco Magbanua, Dhang Buquir and Ronald Valdehueza to their host family’s home and sipped coffee. I was a little bit jealous of their closeness but it made me realize that I was being myself on the immersion the whole time which was a proud snob person and I’m trying to change that and live ‘simply’.

· Everyone was planning on not sleeping but in the end everybody did anyway. I couldn’t really sleep because of the racket that Block C was making on the room especially Benedict Wasil who was drunk. I listened to their conversation which isn’t a bad thing since their voices were loud enough for the whole tribe to hear and I thought it was interesting when suddenly I went to sleep.

· Just when I was on dreamland came a thud on the wall that woke me up. Everyone was getting ready so I woke up my roommates and packed all my things and cleaned up.

· One last gathering on the Hall of Peace and tearful goodbyes was recalled on the trip back to home, Cagayan De Oro City.

I realized a lot of things through the immersion despite the short time I have spent there. I would be lying if I wanted to live ‘that’ simply because I don’t want a life like those of Talaandig have because I really am a city child. Not that I don’t appreciate and that I don’t bow down to their resistance to the cold but I love the city lights, the noise of the streets and the joy of seeing shopping malls. I admire the tribe for keeping their tradition alive and even giving Carlou Odchigue a birthday he will never forget. There are those people who are simple and contented while some are luxurious and ambitious but we exist as one. One city, one country, diverse cultures. The important thing is to respect one another and live a life of peace.

I capture thoughts and emotions. I am DEVCOM.

Run For Your Life!

Last one!

Expalanation

I really am trying to blog these past few weeks but nothing comes to my mind when I do. Mental blocks? Or am I just having too much fun with friends that I forget my SELF? Whatever it is, I want a DSLR now! (Laughs!)

**This picture is from my album on Facebook entitled "The Friday Goof Around".
**By the way, invite me on Facebook! Thanks.

Beyond the Urban Horizon

There's nothing like a trip to the mountains to make my day!

Seasonal

I was snooping around Facebook when I found a note about people coming in to your life who bring experiences and memories. Oh no, but wait! There are two kinds of those people which are people who come to stay permanently like, say, your best friend, and the other which are people who come SEASONALLY. You know, people like your classmates and stuff. People you meet on camps, retreats, etc. It kinda struck me on a painful fact that I learned before but eventually forgotten that not everyone in our life is there to stay. Do you know what I mean? They might not die but eventually they will leave not because they want to or have to but because it's how life is supposed to work. The thing that hurts me most is that the memories you shared with them. Gosh. Can you imagine?

When people say that memories are good, I can't agree. Even though how happy they are I can't seem to help but be sad about those memories. I'm really an emotional freak. Sometimes, I cry for no reason. I know right, weirdo! Sigh. But I have to accept it even though I really, really find it hard to lose people. Even people I don't really know, when they leave for abroad I get really sad or even people who are graduating and leaving the school. It hurts but I must survive.

Emo!